Thank you, Peach and Pepper for this gorgeous dress helping me make motherhood look fabulous.
“Enjoy your time now because once you have a baby, motherhood will change you.”
This was a statement I heard numerous times in our four years of marriage pre-baby. Seven months into this mama gig, I can understand where the warning was coming from. The days of spontaneous adventures have been replaced by meticulously planned outings tailored around feedings, diaper changes and nap times. More and more, my thoughts auto pilot to all subjects baby. Nowadays, doing things I once cringed at the thought of, like scraping baby poo from under my nails, have become second nature. And it’s just the beginning. I’ve only embarked on the introductory chapters of this lifelong story that is motherhood.
As cliche as it sounds, I love it. The stages thus far, though not necessarily a walk in the park, have come naturally. Maybe it’s because my son has only begun being mobile and I don’t have the additional weight of a full time job weighing on my shoulders. Most days, I feel like I was born to play this role. To mother a child with the hopes of nurturing him to be a productive member of society.
What about me?
As I raise this boy to be his own man, I often wonder about the woman who I am evolving to be. Yes, I am a mother… But I’m also a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and once upon a time entrepreneur. I often hear other mothers say they sacrificed their body, their careers or their relationships for their children. Though my world now orbits a new sun that is Apollo, I don’t think I like how the act of sacrifice implies what you’re sacrificing (in essence one’s self) is disposable. As I devote myself in entirety to this little person, I’m careful to leave a little something for me. Whether Apollo remains an only child or if we are blessed enough to have other kids, I want to leave enough to nurture me as an individual. Twenty or so years from now when he ventures off to embark on his own life, I don’t want to be left wondering “now what?”
That’s why I believe in being careful not to lose yourself to motherhood. As complex creatures, I believe mother’s have the infinite capacity to pour themselves into their children without losing sight of who they are and their interests. Is it easily done? No, but nothing worthwhile is.
So as a young mom, how do I show myself love without giving less than 100% of what my son deserves? I find time.
Do what makes you feel good.
Thank heavens for this thing called sleep. When he’s asleep, I do things that make me feel good. I write on this blog. I engage in social media. I wear beautiful dresses like this one from Peach and Pepper Apparel, do my makeup and fix my hair even if I have nowhere to go. Why? Because it makes me feel good. I work out. I concoct meals I know my husband would delight in. I take time to enjoy cuddles with my dog. I enjoy things that distinguish me as a person from my role as a mama. Yes, for quite some time, I will give far more to Apollo than I will to myself. That’s perfectly ok as long as I don’t lose sight of who I am.
I believe it is important to continue to grow as a person, nurture relationships aside from the mother/child sort and explore individual passions.
Oddly enough, I’ve never been more comfortable in my own skin as I have post baby. Birthing a child manifested this new found confidence I hope I can pass on to him. What about you? How do you stay in touch with who you are while traversing this journey that is motherhood?